Love Is
by Ripki
Summary: Melissa falls in love. MJ, oneshot


A sudden burst of imagination; a piece demanding to be written. Who am I to disagree with my subconscious?

This is meant to be only one-shot, kind of Melissa / Jackson, loosely based on both the first and second season episodes.

O

_**LOVE IS **_

O

_Love is finding_

She remembers the glance, first aimless, without an object. Just an unconscious lift of a chin upwards, eyes taking in the upper level walkway, the people -familiar, common, grey- and noticing the difference.

The difference is _him_. And something is struck inside of her, something creating a small, almost unnoticeable echo that resonates from her head to her little toe. _New _she notices, _Cute _her mind whispers.

She takes in everything that is _him_. The posture, the clothes, the tilt of the head, the expression on that face - watchful, confident, self-contained. The world is static around her, blur images on the edges of her vision. He is the centre, a sharp mass of colour.

Perhaps her stare is so intense he can actually feel it. Or maybe his first glance is like hers; random and without further purpose. Whatever the reason, he turns his head downwards and looks straight into her.

There is no strike of lightning, no explosion rocking her feet, no theatrical music on the background, and no big flashing sing screaming THIS IS IT complete with exclamation marks and an arrow pointing towards him.

She just feels self-conscious; embarrassed to be caught staring. She lowers her gaze, gets back into conversation with Daley and thinks about him the rest of the day.

O

_Love is to dare_

Like a curious, but cautious animal, she circles him from afar. Watching his every move, sniffing the air for danger. Slowly, she steps closer, so very slowly, heart beating _fast fast fast_.

Inside her head there are thousand conversations, thousand ways to say _hi_.

She says _hi_.

He lifts his head from a book, looks at her, and she is ready to bolt, ready to run and hide, but she glues her feet to the grass, smiling.

He says _hi _back.

The words flow from her mouth all at once, and she stumbles over them, arranging them to a form that doesn't scream _I want to know you _but not quite succeeding in it.

He has a better command over his words; they are measured and paced and coated with a tasteless layer of politeness.

She hears the _No _loud and clear.

O

_Love is using every means necessary _

His face lights up in a real smile, and it's for her, because of something she did for him, and the warmth, the joy in his face is directed towards her, aimed at her heart.

The smile curls inside of her, setting up small fires, making everything in her glow.

She doesn't think, how she persuaded the others, slyly directed them towards her own goal, talked them into changing their plans. She doesn't believe this is bribing, although a trip to Palau is totally worth this one smile. It doesn't cross her mind, if this all really is for him, or for her.

O

_Love is crashing_

For a moment she thinks she will die of mortification. When that is not happening, she just wants to be left alone - forever.

Her secret is blasted to air for everyone to pick it up and cut to shreds. Her words - _she _- are ripped open, laid bare, violated.

They are no longer hers.

And now he knows the way she feels, what she is, and she is not dying and not alone but falling, and after he tells her its alright, really it is, she is still falling and she thinks there might not be anything to fall into and she'll be endlessly falling -

O

_Love is a chemical reaction_

A small tingle in her spine: he is somewhere near, comes nearer still. Briefly looks at her; smile optional.

A flutter in her heart: In that one moment, she is the centre of his attention. Often a single, intense look. Sometimes a word, sharp and true.

A shiver, like a wave through her whole body: He leans towards her, his body bending closer to hers. No actual touching involved.

A knot in her stomach: He is withdrawn, far away, fortifying his façade, shutting her out. They are both lonely.

A lump in her throat: On very rare occasions the mask slips, and she sees. The sadness, the fear, the uncertainty. She wants to cry.

A heat wave all over her: She thinks or dreams about him. His presence not required.

A sharp shock, evening out to a steady pulsation, accompanied by a buzz in her ears: A touch. Usually brief, almost accidental. Seldom lingering.

O

_Love is in sickness and health_

She stays.

He is covered in sweat, shivering and groaning, twisting about in pain. The smell of vomit clings to everything with sharp claws.

Her every offer of help is rejected; her words are met with silence, her tears ignored, her presence dismissed.

She stays.

O

_Love is a dream_

He always kisses her first. In a hallway of their school, behind the playing field stand, on the beach, just before they turn into her driveway. She tilts her head toward his, closes her eyes and feels his lips on hers.

Everything in her thunders.

His breath is warm on her face, but still she trembles.

They match: hand to hand, forehead to forehead, nose to nose, lips to lips, skin to skin.

There are never any words, just the rushing waters in her ears. She doesn't miss sentences, for he speaks with his hands, with his lips on her skin. He tells her all those things she had always wanted to hear and then some more.

Her laughter fills her, spilling over, rolling into the sea.

O

_Love is beyond all doubt_

She sees him with _her,_ and nothing has ever hurt quite that deep or so sharply than _his _arm around _her_. She understands now that love is just darkness reaching, shadows hissing in her ear words that are more snakes than they never were words to begin with

_mine hurt betray bitch unfaithful hate mine mine mine mine _the snakes curl and twine, shedding a new skin out of her tears.

Too tired, she stops hating just to discover she still loves. Everything in her is shifting sand but this one feeling; bedrock too stubborn to move.

Let them rest their heads against each other, for all the good things come with an expire date.

She cannot be undone.

O

_Love is unrequited_

First, kind words and lukewarm smiles. She tastes them eagerly, explores them with the same kind of relish she reserves for the way his name rolls of her tongue, _Jackson _again and again.

Then more words, but vastly different: careless and hasty, indifferent and essential. More true. She cherishes every vowel and consonant and scavenges for more. His smile is rare but real, injecting an overdose of pure hope to her starving veins.

All too soon, she has become immune.

She traces the patterns of his speech, the way his eyes blink and evade, trying to match the changing lines of his face to a compatible word. She hunts for that one final recognition of mutual feelings.

Last, the truth. She asks for it, but it is not what she wants to hear.

O

_Love is patient_

She can wait. She will wait, and whatever happens, her

_love is endless_

O

O

Please review your likes and dislikes about this piece. What section moved you the most? Did it seem credible?


End file.
